I am not remarkable.

Keep reading to learn what grit can do for you, and how to get it

Tony cultivating grit paddling against a 25 knot headwind

When you have found and then nurtured the grit within, you will find a resolute inner strength and
stability that you can access at will. 

Grit readies you to function within chaos

Have you heard of the second law of thermodynamics? It basically says that everything that is organized is always trying to move toward chaos. I call it 'if it can go wrong, it will go wrong.' Chaos is stressful, sometimes painful, and often confusing. Being able to stay calm and function effectively when sh*t goes down is totally a superpower. 

Great, but how do I get it?

I'm sure, like me, you've seen, and might be sick of, all the motivational photos of beautiful people in amazing places with some quote on it like: "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you" or my favorite: "If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done" 

While these quotes are great at motivating some of us, they're frustrating for those of us who are frozen by fear or intimidated by pain. You read them and think "OMG YES I'm going to do the thing!!!" but then the thing is so scary you can't breathe much less move or is so daunting you don't know where to start.

It starts with a choice. 

I know, it sucks. We all like to be comfortable. I love my soft warm bed and sleeping in late. Comfort has been the driving force behind much of our technological advancement- running water, central heating, air conditioning, and yoga pants. 

The problem with comfort is that we won't evolve, reach our goals, or do anything epic if we stay in our comfort zones. When you step outside of your comfort zone, you create an opportunity to rise to
the challenge and to embody your unique form of greatness.

One of the most important parts to growing your grit is that you have chosen the challenge. When you choose to accept a challenge, you have recognized and acted on a purpose that is important to you. If you're suffering from something you were forced to do, you'll feel resentment. Resentment brings negative purpose to suffering which destroys motivation.

Hardship and challenge initiate change. Hardship does its job well, though hardship without purpose is not productive.

Without a purpose, we find it hard to be tenacious. Hardship that lacks greater purpose is merely endured. It is not a tool for growth- we only endure to see sufferings’ end. Hardship accompanied by purpose and hope has emboldened man to do the impossible, has fueled  revolutions, and driven many free thinkers, inventors and leaders.

Find a fulfilling reason to do something challenging.

You may endure suffering in exchange for the views from a beautiful mountain top. You might tolerate fear to feel the rush of endorphins. Growing grit effectively requires a reward that is both immediate and meaningful to you. Unfortunately I can't tell you what those reasons are, because a 'reward' looks different to each of us. To me, the view from the top was worth the hike, but for you it may not be. I will tell you, though, to be wary of extrinsic motivators like fame, wealth and food.

Here are a few questions to help you figure out what fulfills you:

1. What gets your fired up with excitement?
2. What strengths and skills do you enjoy using?
3. When do you feel most confident?
4. When do you feel most alive?
5. When do you / what makes you feel most connected to the world?

Sometimes getting started (or out of bed) is the hardest part. Sometimes the hardest part is staying tenacious when you're tired, miserable or frustrated- or all three at once. For me, it's a real struggle to keep running when my lungs are on fire or to get out of bed in the freezing cold. 

Everything is Temporary

I constantly tell myself this when I am miserable or have to do something scary. Before I know it, this will be a memory. I will be remembering the pain, or cold or fear and not feeling it. All I have to do is get through this moment / day / week. 

Seriously. When you are miserable, repeat over and over in your head something to the effect of: 'This is temporary. Soon I will be looking back on this as a memory. Before I know it, this will be over.'

Attitude is Everything
So many of us would assume that an attitude that is angry is bad. One of my favorite Mark Twight quotes is: "A bad attitude is a mental state that prevents you from realizing your dreams." I have successfully paddled in abysmal conditions with a state of mind was definitely not what anyone would consider positive, but it gave me what I needed to keep going. Some people need to stay positive and hopeful during misery. For others (like me) anger can be just as effective.

'Nothing is final until you're dead, and even then I'm sure God negotiates.' 

- Evil stepmother in Ever After

Approach your endeavor without any expectations of success or failure. Expect only challenge. When we expect failure, we often don't push beyond what we expect ourselves to achieve. When we expect success, failure comes as a swift and crushing blow to ego, confidence and motivation. Accept that both success and failure have positive outcomes, therefore there is no reason to be crushed by failure.

So you didn't summit the mountain, finish the race, or get the contract. Failure doesn't devalue your experience or effort in any way.

There are plenty of good things we gain from failure.

1. You have grown stronger and wiser
2. You are one step closer to success
3. You have a greater understanding of your task
4. You have proven to yourself that you have the discipline to endure
5. Your compassion grows

Don't make it personal. You failed at something. This does not mean you are a failure. Don't allow yourself or anyone else to define you by your mistakes.
If you're struggling with failure, pull out a journal and answer the following questions

1. How has this experience improved me as a person?
2. How will these improvements impact my life?
3. What have I learned about other people from this failure?
4. What factors within my control contributed to failure?
5. What factors beyond my control contributed to failure?

Don't worry, I don't either. Having it makes growing grit easier, but it isn't required. I've always envied the people with the discipline to get up before dawn and go for a run. As much as I would love to be one of those people, I've reached a place where I've mostly forgiven myself for hitting snooze a million times.

Here are my methods for getting myself to do things I know are good for me but can't seem to get off my butt to do:

Pay for an Experience

Money talks. Or in this case, it motivates. I heard about a gym chain that started charging people more for not showing up. Every week you didn't show up, they charged you extra. Apparently it
really worked. People got off their couches and went to the gym.

You can use a similar method. Sign up for an experience that you know will challenge you but is also super rewarding- one that you'll look back on and be proud of. Make sure they require a deposit that is non-refundable. Bonus points if you get friends to sign up with you.

Find a partner (or several)

Preferably someone with A LOT more self discipline and grit than you, who isn't scared to hold you accountable. 

When I was in college, my climbing partner was this for me. He climbed harder than me, lifted harder than me and had the discipline I didn't. He pushed me to be better, gave me hell if I skipped a workout and refused to lower me off a climb if I had a bad attitude. He was the reason I got up at 4am on a Saturday to drive three hours to a crag and climb all day. 

Get a Job (or Volunteer)

I usually sign up for jobs with long hours and hard labor in rugged places. I enjoy comfort too much to decide to go for a hike on a cold rainy day on my own. But if I'm working, I have no choice. This summer I got up at 4 and 5am in below freezing temperatures, lifted 70lb bales of hay, and slept on the ground. As a kayaking guide, I battled headwinds, thunderstorms and relentless mosquitoes. 

I still chose to do those jobs, knowing full well the misery I would probably endure. When I signed up, that misery was vague and off in the distance which made the decision a bit easier. I knew the benefits would be worth the hardship. 

What motivates me to do those jobs? I love being in wild places. I love getting stronger. I love helping my students find their inner greatness and grow through challenge in the outdoors. Being an outdoor leader makes me want to be the best version of myself  I can be, because I want to be a mentor and role model for my students. The wilderness is one place I never feel restless. I love how I feel after getting through tough, scary and miserable situations with my team of students and coworkers. When I sign up for those jobs, I focus on the things I love about them.

If you're ready to unleash your inner badass, these books are your route to success:


You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero 
I absolutely love this book.You'll laugh your way through it because her writing is not only entertaining but totally blunt and honest. Get excited to get off your butt and kick some ass!

Extreme Alpinism by Mark Twight
If you want to get psyched to suffer, this is your book. This guy is a total badass. He is an accomplished mountaineer, so he knows a thing or two about suffering.

Sections of this book are useful even to those who don't climb. The most useful section is right at the beginning- Chapter 1 is titled 'Attitude and Character.' His writing will make you want to embrace challenge and misery like a warrior. The section on mental training in chapter 2 is also incredibly useful.



The Rock Warrior's Way - Arno Ilgner
Don't let the title dissuade you if you aren't a climber. This book is an incredible resource for anyone facing scary challenges.

Arno will help you create calm and order in the chaos of your mind. He explains harmful mental habits in a way everyone can understand, and then guides you through addressing them.

Arno focuses on separating our identities from our experiences- which enables us to respond to failures and successes with patience and insight.

This book will help you savor challenge and thrive within it.